How to Write an Obituary: A Step-by-Step Guide for Grieving Families in Santa Clara County

If you’re reading this, you’re likely facing one of life’s most challenging tasks: writing an obituary for someone you love. As a Santa Clara will and trust lawyer who has helped countless families through the grief process, I want to share some guidance to make this difficult task a little easier.  As a preliminary note, some people believe that there is a legal requirement to have an obituary.  This is not true, and you and your family may choose to forego this option.  But if you are going to publish an obituary, below are some thoughts on how to craft it.

Getting Started: The Essential Information

Start with the basics: your loved one’s full name, age, and date of passing. Include their birthplace, where they lived, and information about the funeral or memorial service. Remember to mention surviving family members—but you can keep this simple by limiting to immediate family to save on publication costs.

Telling Their Story

Now comes the meaningful part: sharing who your loved one truly was. Think about what made them special. Did they have a career they were passionate about? Were they known for their garden, their famous cookie recipe, or their ability to fix anything? Did they have a saying that made everyone smile? These personal touches help paint a picture of the wonderful person your family has lost.

Important Details to Remember

Don’t forget to include service information—when and where people can pay their respects. If you’re accepting flowers or prefer donations to a charity, include these details too. For newspaper submissions, keep an eye on your word count, as most charge by the line.

A Word of Caution About Privacy

In today’s digital age, it’s wise to be cautious about the personal information you include. Consider omitting details like birth dates or maiden names that could be used for identity theft.

Moving Forward

Writing an obituary is just one step in handling your loved one’s final affairs. As you move through this difficult time, you may find yourself facing other tasks like probate or trust administration. As your Santa Clara will and trust lawyer, I want you to know you don’t have to navigate these legal matters alone.

When you’re ready to discuss the next steps in settling your loved one’s affairs, our office is here to provide the guidance and support you need. We can help ensure everything is handled properly while you focus on healing and remembering.

Remember, there’s no “perfect” obituary—just one that comes from the heart and honors your loved one’s memory. Take your time, be gentle with yourself, and don’t hesitate to reach out if you need assistance with any legal matters during this difficult time.